SELINSGROVE, Pa. – “She definitely would have wanted me to do it.”
Those are the words of a Pennsylvania mother who decided to share her late daughter’s strikingly honest poem about heroin addiction in the 23-year-old’s obituary.
Delaney Farrell was one of more than 50 people who overdosed in Lycoming County last week, authorities told WNEP. Farrell and two others died.
“She told me the night before she died that she knew all those kids (who) overdosed. She called me and said ‘Did you see it on the news?’,” father Brian Farrell said.
Delaney was introduced to heroin about five years ago at a party. Her parents, Brian and Bridget, say she did not know what it was.
“They don’t say here’s heroin, they say try sniffing some of this dust. They sniff it a few times and the second or third time they do it they want more,” Brian said.
The Farrell family lives in Selinsgrove, but Delaney was staying at a halfway house in Williamsport. Her parents said she seemed to be doing better in the days leading up to her death. Police say she died Saturday inside a bathroom at the Red Roof Inn near Williamsport, where she had worked.
While thinking of what to say in her daughter’s obituary, Bridget decided to include a poem Delaney wrote about her struggles with addiction:
“Funny, I don’t remember no good dope days. I remember walking for miles in a dope fiend haze. I remember sleeping in houses that had no electric. I remember being called a junkie, but I couldn’t accept it. I remember hanging out in abandos that were empty and dark. I remember shooting up in the bathroom and falling out at the park. I remember nodding out in front of my sisters kid. I remember not remembering half of the things that I did. I remember the dope man’s time frame, just ten more minutes. I remember those days being so sick that I just wanted to end it. I remember the birthdays and holiday celebrations. All the things I missed during my incarceration. I remember overdosing on my bedroom floor. I remember my sisters cry and my dad having to break down the door. I remember the look on his face when I opened my eyes, thinking today was the day that his baby had died. I remember blaming myself when my mom decided to leave. I remember the guilt I felt in my chest making it hard to breathe. I remember caring so much but not knowing how to show it. and I know to this day that she probably don’t even know it. I remember feeling like I lost all hope. I remember giving up my body for the next bag of dope. I remember only causing pain, destruction and harm. I remember the track marks the needles left on my arm. I remember watching the slow break up of my home. I remember thinking my family would be better off if I just left them alone. I remember looking in the mirror at my sickly completion. I remember not recognizing myself in my own Damn reflection. I remember constantly obsessing over my next score but what I remember most is getting down on my knees and asking God to save me cuz I don’t want to do this no more !!! ”
“That’s what she was going through and that’s what was going through her mind and that was her life at the time,” Bridget Farrell said.
The family says the public’s response from the obituary has been overwhelming. Most most of the comments on social media are supportive, but a few are critical.
“If it could help even just one person it would be worth it,” Bridget said. “What do you think she would have said? She definitely would have wanted me to do it.”
Brian and Bridget tell WNEP it already is helping people. This is one of hundreds of messages they’ve gotten.
“I’m heeding the message and checking myself into the hospital today. Thanks. Christine from Chicago,” Brian read.
Delaney’s full obituary can be found here.