NEW YORK CITY — You can smell it in the air: It’s pumpkin spice season.
Sure, it’s September and maybe it’s still 90-plus degrees if you live in the South. But fall is on its way, so let all pumpkin spice lovers rejoice.
During this transitional time in our seasonal earthly world, let us also take a moment to reflect on our ever-growing passion for the scientifically proven addictive flavor.
We’ve gotten Starbucks to provide us with our yearly dose of pumpkin spice drink options. (Three cheers for PSLs!) Krispy Kreme has even joined the pumpkin spice movement, adding a pumpkin spice doughnut with cheesecake filling to its menu.
But we must ask ourselves the question: How far is too far? Because let’s be honest: Some pumpkin spice items don’t make sense.
Here’s a list of eight pumpkin spice items you can buy right now that have no business being on the market.
Pumpkin spice spam
If pork wanted to taste like pumpkin spice, then it would be a pumpkin. But it’s not. It’s pork.
Pumpkin spice CBD drops
You can scare your anxieties away with Pumpkin Spice CBD drops in your preferred drink, courtesy of Summit CBD.
Pumpkin spice dog treats
Please Greenies, don’t addict our lil pups to the pumpkin spice flavor, too.
Pumpkin spice beard oil
A well moisturized beard is 1000% necessary. A beard that smells like you’d like your beard to be eaten is quite the opposite.
Pumpkin spice protein powder
Pumpkin spice in your protein powder is just going to confuse your body. Is it time to build up our muscle strength and go workout or is it time to cuddle up by the fire and devour everything that smells like pumpkin spice?
Pumpkin spice dish soap
If we’re trying to get food off our dirty dishes, why would someone want pumpkin spice dish soap to add the scent of food back on it?
Pumpkin spice kale chips
You’re either kale or you’re pumpkin spice. You can only be one, Angel Kale.
Pumpkin spice lip balm
Because consuming it isn’t enough. We have to wear it on our lips to remind us of the flavor we crave.