The Roommate

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roommateOkay, class…sit down, sit down! We have to get started on this latest review. It’s the type of movie that makes you fall asleep in class and wonder why you need to learn this when you’ll never use it in real life.

Minka Kelly made the guy forget about Summer in 500 Days of Summer and last year was named the sexiest woman alive by Esquire magazine (and she’s dated Derek Jeter).

In this, she goes to a college called ULA, which is supposed to be UCLA. Hearing and seeing that written, is as distracting as hearing someone yell out a 555 phone number.

Kelly has a new roommate in the dorm who turns out to be an obsessive psycho.

This is Single White Female for the Gossip Girl crowd (and it stars Leighton Meester from that show, who was also in another bad movie recently – Country Strong).

The leading man in this does a fine job looking like James Dean, James Franco, or any number of good looking James’ in Hollywood.

It’s just a shame the script doesn’t give the actors enough.

Especially when they got the talented Francis Fisher (with the Oscars around the corner, here’s an Oscar fun fact: Fisher was in two movies that won best picture Oscars – Titanic and Unforgiven).

One of her co-stars in Titanic, Billy Zane (The Phantom) is miscast as a college professor/fashionista. When he’s at the chalk board talking about designers, it reminded me of Denise Richards in that James Bond movie where she tries talking about nuclear physics.

I found it odd this film was rated PG 13 when it should’ve been PG. And if they’re going for the younger crowds without an R rating, why even show a shower scene where you have a close-up of the girls shoulder, and then her belly button?

Another scene is cut between two characters making love, and a phone sex conversation. Both of those scenes merely show close-ups of mouths.

People go to see these types of thrillers for boobs and blood; or at the very least, for thrills. This had none of those things.

That being said, it’s really not as poorly written as it could’ve been. When all the characters are introduced in the first half, it wasn’t so bad.

Things go downhill in the second half of the film.

When one character calls another collect, I was thinking 1979 called. Who has to call anyone collect these days? And why does this character constantly forget her cell phone?

Here’s one last Oscar fun fact. Director Christian E. Christiansen was nominated for an Oscar in 2007 (for his short film At Night).

In closing, class…I’d just like to say…if you’re going to do a movie that everyone is going to compare to Single White Female, don’t do one of the exact same scenes; and if your movie is going to be called a psychological thriller, don’t leave out the “thriller” part of that.

It gets a D-.

Class dismissed.

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