The Bucket List

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bucket list
Oscar winners Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson, just might win their first Razzies for this.

The bucket I needed was to barf in. That’s really how bad this movie is. It’s shocking to think that director Rob Reiner could get Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, in what should be a great premise, and totally ruin it. Freeman says at one point “I thought this was supposed to be fun!” I couldn’t agree more.

I thought Freeman’s narration was perfect in The Shawshank Redemption but at this point, he really needs to give it a rest.

I’m not going to even get into how realistic it would be that a billionaire that owns the hospital, would be sharing the room with another patient (for those that don’t know, hospitals make a lot of money charging more for people that want their own room). It’s also goofy that we need to have Nicholson scream out early on that his hospital will have “two beds to a room, no exception!” It’s at that point, that it becomes as bad as The Doctor, when William Hurt realizes how bad his bedside manner was once he becomes a patient and is treated the same way. Any movie making me think of that horrible film already has a strike against it. And I’ll let it slide that two guys with cancer would probably feel so miserable from the chemo that they wouldn’t be up for driving cool ‘60s muscle cars.

There’s a joke about the coffee Nicholson drinks that is obvious, as is a scenario where Freeman meets an attractive, younger woman in a bar.

There’s so much trite garbage going on that makes me think this would’ve worked better as a sitcom on Lifetime.

Freeman’s character isn’t rich. He dropped out of college and became a mechanic when his wife got pregnant. They don’t have the best marriage.

After the initial meet cute of the two total opposites, they become friends. Nicholson has the cash, Freeman has the tepid marriage – so off they go. They can fly in his private jet, jump out of jets, and travel anywhere in the world. I wondered if either of them would utter the phrase “I’m too old for this sh**!”

Some of the cinematography is beautiful. Other times, I was looking at pyramids and thinking – it doesn’t look like they’re really there (turns out, they weren’t).

Since I’m a music lover, I’m real strict about the songs I hear in a movie. If somebody is trying on different outfits, I don’t want to hear Roy Orbison (or Van Halen) singing Pretty Woman. When they race cars, I don’t need to hear ZZ Top’s Tush. The song worked great in the barroom brawl in An Officer and a Gentleman. It doesn’t work here.

I wouldn’t have had a problem with the guys having their “meaning of life” conversations, if they were written better. In this, they felt like melodramatic, contrived crap.

There’s one scene where Nicholson gets suckered into going to see a family member, and I have to admit, I enjoyed the way that played out. I also thought the ending wasn’t half bad.

At the screening, an older couple behind me thought this was the best movie they’d ever seen. They were laughing, cheering, and crying. I brought my parents, who are in their 60s, and they liked it a lot. Perhaps that’s the demographic for this movie. I just wanted to go all Mystery Science Theatre 3000 on it.

I’m giving it a D.

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