Girls Trip

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I was just saying a few weeks ago how insane movie critics were for overly praising films like Baby Driver. Well, they’re also crazy for their praise of one of the worst comedies I’ve seen in a long time — Girls Trip.

Critics hated The House, a movie that had my wife and I laughing throughout. This had my wife and I leave the Reading Town Square an hour into it. I couldn’t believe there was another hour of this crap, but we were the smart ones. We didn’t stay and waste our time.

I clicked on one critic that had a positive review, because I just had to know what they liked. They mentioned that it has African-American women in the lead roles and it deserves credit for that. Uh…why? Bad movies are bad movies. You don’t get extra credit for things like that. Besides, it’s not like there haven’t been movies that feature African-American women in lead roles.

This movie is the same premise as Rough Night, which tanked last month (and wasn’t that good either, but had a few more laughs than this). This has a bunch of women that all hung out together in college, calling themselves the “Flossy Posse.” They all went on to different lives and don’t keep in touch much, aside from the occasional social media connection.

There’s Ryan (Regina Hall), who is a lifestyle coach and supposedly the next Oprah. She’s married to a good looking ex-NFL player, and has a white agent that likes to say phrases that make her sound black. Yeah, that’s the level of humor they’re going for.

Sasha (Queen Latifah) is a gossip columnist whose blog isn’t doing well. Her boss basically tells her…if she doesn’t get some traction soon, it’s over. Hey…maybe she’ll get a big scoop on this trip.

Lisa (Jada Pinkett Smith) plays a single mom, and they purposely made her look frumpy.

Dina (Tiffany Haddish) is so insane, you wonder why any of these women would’ve ever had anything to do with her.

When they all meet at the airport (which seems to be where everyone meets up to go on these trips), Dina goes on and on about how she’s smuggled drugs in her “Butthole.” This joke has been done in a few movies, but in this, doesn’t even garner a smile. One example of this joke working was in “Get Him to the Greek.” That’s because Russell Brand is a rock star, and Jonah Hill is the low-man on the totem pole at his record label, and is in charge of keeping him off drugs and getting him to his concert. And it’s the fact that Brand insists on this assistant hiding his drugs in his rectum…and the facial expressions and dialogue of these two in the scene…humorous.

There’s an opening scene where a woman gets fired from her job for assaulting a fellow employee at the office that ate her lunch. As the boss fires her, she doesn’t seem to get the fact that she’s being fired. Nothing about that is funny. Yet the premise, having somebody catch a person who ate their lunch in the company fridge, is. That’s the problem you have with a horrible screenplay. Scenes don’t make you laugh, and you can sit there and think of ways the scenes can actually be funny.

So the women get on a plane, order a million drinks, serve drinks to all the other passengers…and land in New Orleans because, well…that’s where everyone films movies these days because it’s cheaper.

This mess is directed by Malcolm D. Lee, who gave us garbage like Barbershop: The Next Cut (which I was also surprised the critics liked), The Best Man, Soul Men, Scary Movie 5, Undercover Brother, Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins, etc.

Lee is a director that doesn’t know how to properly deliver a punchline. The jokes were cliche, crude, and telegraphed. Also, the emotional stuff didn’t work in the least.

I can count the laughs this movie had on one hand. And one of the funnier scenes, involving a woman peeing while doing a zipline over a large crowd, was shown in the trailers.

Vulgarity doesn’t equal comedy. And hey — even though the all-female leads in Ghostbusters bombed (as it should’ve) — they should’ve just called this the female version of The Hangover. That’s clearly the movie it wished it was.

0 stars.

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