2 Hearts

At the Movies Blog

Perhaps had I consumed Bacardi before watching this…it would have looked romantic.

For movie critics, the films are screened for us a week or two before they’re released. Sometimes we get the theatres to ourselves, and the 10 of us local critics that are there, usually talk about movies we’ve seen recently and rib each other about differing opinions. Sometimes the studios let a local radio station give away tickets to our screenings, so we’re relegated to two rows of seats, and we have a crowd of contest winners around us.

I remember the last two screenings I attended before Covid hit. One of them was for The Burnt Orange Heresy, which is right now, my favorite movie of the year. I’m so glad I got to see that in theatres, and to bring a friend with me who’s an art collector (in the movie, Mick Jagger plays a rich art collector).

I don’t remember the other screening, but I think it was some goofy action picture with lots of explosions. Me and the other critics were all talking about the two big news stories before that started — that Tom Hanks had Covid and the NBA was cancelling the rest of the season. Since that time in March, there hadn’t been any screenings for the critics. We either get DVDs sent to us to review, or screening links we watch on our computers. 

Finally, we’re invited to a screening for this movie 2 Hearts. My wife wasn’t thrilled about the idea of driving all the way to La Mesa for that, even with my pleas of “It’s based on a true story” — as if I was using quotes off the movie poster to get her to go. Instead of attending the screening, I opted for a link to watch it at home. About an hour in, my wife said, “Aren’t you glad we didn’t go to the screening? You’d be trying to think of a way to leave. At home, we can just turn it off.”

The annoying narration starts right off the bat, with a gurney being brought into a hospital and a character telling us what’s happening. And of course, we’ll get the flashbacks to earlier scenes, to see two couples that meet-cute. It’s unfortunate the flashbacks aren’t as cute. We get Chris (Jacob Elordi of The Kissing Booth), saying “I’m getting ahead of myself” and we go back to see his love blossom. My wife and I were both a bit confused by the parallel love story of an older man named Jorge (Adan Canton), which obviously has taken place at an earlier time. The one thing we did know for sure is…that these stories would somehow connect. And it doesn’t take long to realize how. The problem was…we just didn’t care.

Having just watched an entertaining indie movie (S#!%house), there was an awkward college freshman who doesn’t have a social life. In this, Chris is leaving a class and bumps into Sam (Tiera Skovbye), and stands there looking idiotic as the professor has to ask him if he’s attending that next class, too.

Jorge is a Cuban distiller, who at first, we thought was a mobster. His idiotic romance with Leslie (Radha Mitchell) starts with him being afraid to fly, and insisting she hold his hand during the take-off. No better way to have a romance take off, than to hit on a pretty flight attendant who probably encounters that daily. These felt like romances written by a high school student who thought this is how people actually meet. Not to mention, you have to wonder how much a guy who is named Bacardi, and is one of the founders, pulls these moves with women while handing them his card.

The college couple gets involved in a safety patrol, and the other couple have a romantic weekend at the beach. 

It all felt like a made for TV movie, or some bad Nicholas Sparks film (well, that’s a bit redundant). Other times, the scenes felt like commercials.

This was all based on the real life story of Jorge Bacardi (yes, the booze), who received a lung transplant that saved his life. I suppose telling you that would be a bit of a spoiler if you didn’t already see that coming, or anybody over the age of 12.

The story seems like an interesting one, had it been made properly. This movie wasn’t, and it’s really not worth your time.

0 stars.   

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