Personal Shopper

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Twice before the movie started, warnings came up on screen reminding us to turn off our cell phones. Then the movie has a 45 minute scene where Kristen Stewart is just texting on her phone with a mysterious stranger; or maybe it’s a ghost she’s talking with. By that point in the movie, you’ve already stopped caring (and if you have half a brain, you know who the stranger is).

Olivier Assayas, who wrote and directed (and worked with Stewart in Clouds of Sils Maria), tried to combine three different genres of film. Unfortunately, the ghost story had bad CGI and wasn’t that intriguing, and the drama portions lacked drama. Things aren’t helped much by Stewart doing the only type of acting she’s capable of — making a grimacing face/smirk and running her hands through her hair. She does get naked for long periods of time, so that might make some Twilight fanboys happy.

This film got booed at the Cannes Film Festival, and at the theatre I saw it, everyone leaving was laughing and talking about how bad it is. It’s bizarre that it’s mostly getting good reviews, though.
Stewart plays Maureen. She’s a personal shopper for a rich and famous French socialite/model. That means we get lots of boring scenes of her picking out purses and fancy outfits, and driving off on her moped. She’ll eventually try on those outfits, and masturbate while wearing them. And people wonder why I usually hate French films. They think crap like this is art. But let’s move on.

She’s not happy with her job, but she’s in France trying to communicate with her twin brother, who died from a heart ailment that also affects her. Both siblings are mediums that can communicate with the dead. She’s just not quite sure what that really means.

There was a lot of camerawork I didn’t care for. The shakey-cam on the streets, weird moments where they decided to fade out in what felt like the middle of a scene.
The movie has a vagueness that’s frustrating (and a horribly anticlimactic ending). It also lacks logic.

Stewart’s acting scared me more than the vomiting ghost.

It gets 1 ½ stars out of 5.