Jason Bourne

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At dinner before the screening, my girlfriend said she was looking forward to this movie. I said that I wasn’t and she quickly asked, “You didn’t like the ‘Bourne’ movies?”

I replied, “Yeah, they were good. Well, aside from that Jeremy Renner one. I just don’t see the point of sitting through the same things over and over again. It gets old.”

Because of the Bourne movies, James Bond decided to get darker. The Batman movies got darker (with The Dark Knight). I don’t think that’s a coincidence.

Besides, didn’t this Bourne story all get wrapped up after the trilogy? Well, nothing like throwing in a father Bourne never knew, and a government that wants to spy on the entire population…to get the ball rolling again.

Tommy Lee Jones does his usual schtick. He’s trying to catch somebody he just can’t find, and snarls at those around him. Maybe we’ll see him do another Fugitive next. Harrison Ford can be chasing down a murderer that’s missing legs this time (Oscar Pistorius, perhaps).

Jones and the talented Vincent Cassel, play such simplistically evil characters. The director should’ve given them mustaches they could twirl, right before saying lines like, “He’s in the elevator. Take him and the girl out.”

Yeah, that’s the type of dialogue you’ll get. Lines like, “I work alone,” “Who murdered my dad?!”

“Don’t make this personal,” “This ends tonight,” and the ever popular, “Find out which computer that’s coming from!”

So, how do we get the ball rolling this time around? New flashbacks, which show a conversation with his dad right before his death. If memory serves, I don’t think the dad was ever brought up before, but we’ll let that go. There are many plot holes you just have to ignore.

It’s hard to believe that CIA director Robert Dewey (Jones) would be so worried about Jason Bourne. This whole thing with Treadstone wasn’t created on his watch. And once you start calling in “the asset” (Vincent Cassel, an assassin), I’m guessing that’s a risk nobody would take. If just one of your agents talks, or one cell phone recording, email, or anything gets out…aren’t you looking at serious jail time? [insert Hillary Clinton joke here] Yet Dewey is so worried about a few of his new programs, I guess he just wants to eliminate any loose ends.

The cast of this film is incredible. Not only am I fan of Cassel, but Alicia Vikander (Ex Machina, The Danish Girl). The problem is, other actresses have pulled off that type of role better. The woman that’s on the fence between the tough boss who is doing something she knows is wrong, and secretly giving information to the “bad guy” that has his heart in the right place.

Another actor, who was so brilliant in the criminally underseen Nightcrawlers, is Riz Ahmed. He played a poor, young Mexican forced to endure dealing with a crazy person he worked with in Nightcrawlers. In this, he looks Middle-Eastern with his facial hair, and is a Zuckerberg type of computer hacker/genius named Aaron Kalloor. He’s being forced to share the personal information of his “Deep Dream” program with the government, so they can spy on everybody.

The movie had some cool car chases. It had a few good fights, too; but a movie needs more then that. I was one of the only critics that wasn’t enamored with the last Mad Max film for what I just stated. If I were 15-years-old, these would be the best movies ever.

Oh, and can we give the handheld cameras a rest? My girlfriend mentioned she couldn’t tell much of what was going on in some of the action scenes. I was more bothered by moments where people aren’t fighting but merely talking, and the camera is shaking all over.

We’ve seen JB do all this stuff before. He has those special set of skills, where he can take out Greek fighters in underground matches with one punch. Well, this JB took out my Greek food, and then popcorn and Hawaiian Punch, in one sitting of this movie.

Both this picture and my belly…are bloated messes.

It gets 2 stars out of 5.

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