The BFG

This is an archived article and the information in the article may be outdated. Please look at the time stamp on the story to see when it was last updated.

Critics are idiots (myself included…sometimes). This movie is getting good reviews, because it’s a beloved Roald Dahl kids book (the author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Matilda, James and the Giant Peach, Fantastic Mr. Fox). It’s also a Steven Spielberg movie. It’s easily the worst picture he’s done (and he’s done over 50).

This movie has no energy, humor, or emotion. It does provide boredom and lots of flatulence. With all the farting in this and Swiss Army Man — July is the month of farts in films.

I can’t blame the screenplay by the late Melissa Mathison (E.T.). This is the worst of Spielberg and his obsessive kids movie fascination.

Sophie (Ruby Barnhill, who is good, although a bit too much like Matilda). She’s an orphan that looks out her window for her cat, and is kidnapped by the Big Friendly Giant. Not sure why if he’s so friendly, he doesn’t immediately tell her he doesn’t plan on killing her. He’s played by Mark Rylance, who scored an Oscar in Spielberg’s Bridge of Spies last year. He does a great job with the voice (albeit the annoying nature of all the goobly-gock talk), and the motion-captured appearance is creative.

He kidnaps Sophie because he can’t have her tell the authorities that giants are around, or they’ll hunt them all down.

The other giants all want to hunt her down. They also torment him relentlessly.

The BFG can also create dreams, and those are used in an interesting fashion.

There was a decent John Williams score. There were some amusing set pieces. The 3-D is okay; but the movie is so sluggishly paced, my girlfriend and I were bored to tears. We left an hour and 20 minutes into this two hour film.

It’s only for kids ages 6 to 12. Any younger, they’ll be scared. Any older, they’ll be bored.

I have to give this 0 stars. The BFG is no BFD!