The Green Lantern

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green lanternIn the old days, super hero movies were made telling the complete story. In the first Superman with Christopher Reeve, we were shown how the character was found on Earth by his parents. We saw clips of him growing up, and it quickly got to the main story.

In more contemporary times, with the studios realizing these movies bring in big bucks, they’re not as concerned with giving you one great film. They figure they can give you a story that sets up the characters, and they’ll take more of your money with all the future films they do with that character.

I thought Thor was a little thin because of this, but it got mostly good reviews.

There were two super hero movies that dealt with the hero in their earlier days that were very enjoyable – Batman Begins and Iron Man.

The Green Lantern is the worst super hero movie I’ve ever seen (although I never saw the Edward Norton version of The Incredible Hulk).

The suits behind Green Lantern spent $300 million making this and just as I said with the last Tron (which cost $200 million), the special effects aren’t that great.

When the jets are flying in the beginning, the 3-D actually looked cheesy. It got even cheesier when the Green Lantern made race cars, machine guns, and brick walls appear by using his mind.

Ryan Reynolds is a hot shot pilot and yes, many of the scenes will remind you of Top Gun.

I thought more of Tom Cruise in the lame War of the Worlds. Cruise starts that movie driving a ‘60s Mustang and peeling out down the street, showing up late to pick up his daughter.

This movie starts with Reynolds driving an old Charger, skidding out, and running late for work.

A few of the scenes on the various planets were interesting, although having seen similar settings in Avatar and Thor, who cares?

Four screenwriters wrote this. Perhaps another four could’ve helped them come up with characters in this 3-D movie that weren’t one dimensional.

Peter Sarsgaard was a little interesting as the loner scientist, who slowly turns into John Malkovich; and then Eric Stoltz from Mask; and finally – the Elephant Man.

The talented Angela Basset was wasted in her small role, and so was one of my favorite ballads ever – The Fleetwood’s Come Softly to Me.

Having a couple dance to that in a diner could’ve been so romantic, but it was all written so poorly.

I thought Tim Robbins was perfectly cast as the slimy head of a company that seems to love his job more than his son. Late in the movie, he makes some facial expressions that didn’t even go with the emotion he should’ve had; but hey – I was the only one that didn’t care for his Oscar nominated performance in Mystic River (I did like the movie, just not his role).

For those that aren’t familiar with the history of the Green Lantern, the movie gives us a long, convoluted explanation in the beginning. The critic next to me forgot her 3-D glasses and went to get them. I’m guessing she was confused through most of the film. Don’t arrive late.

The universe is filled with various “green lanterns” who wear a green ring and protect everyone from evil. This time evil is a creature called Parallex. He used to be a protector of peace, but went bad. Don’t they always?

It’s hard to explain this story to friends with a straight face. Save your money and avoid it.

It’s an over-produced mess, and you don’t care for protagonist Hal Jordan.

If I want to watch a Hal flying through space, I’ll rent 2001: A Space Odyssey. If I want to watch a Jordan flying through space, there’s Space Jam.

On second thought…