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You’re Next

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youre nextGuess who’s coming to dinner? It’s Ted Nugent, and he’s using a cross-bow on all the guests. At least that’s what it felt like as this dysfunctional family gets together for a meal.

It ends up being a trio of crazies, wearing really spooky animal masks. Note to horror filmmakers: scary masks always work. Something about not being able to see a human face, but something sinister that never changes expression as people are being slaughtered, is creepy.

It’s weird, because the attack starts just as we’re getting to know these characters; the new girlfriend and former student of one of the young men; the snotty older brother who wants to pick on his brother for being a chubby kid, etc. Basically, it’s hard to feel for anybody in this family because they just start getting picked off so quickly.

There were a couple of dark comedic moments that worked, but when it got to the 45 minute mark, I just walked out. It felt like I was watching a bad horror film from 1982 (this movie was made two years ago).

My pet peeve on slasher flicks is that they’re usually just gory, and rarely scary. At least this one was going for a dark comedy vibe as well. And I understand that after I left, there’s a little twist that changes things and makes the movie a lot more enjoyable. A friend described it as the actress “going all ‘Home Alone’ on their asses!”

Perhaps if I wasn’t watching the camera shaking around so much when two people are having a regular conversation in the living room, I would’ve been more interested. I don’t care how low the budget is – invest in a tripod!

The crowd around me was loving every second of this. It has me wondering why people just want to watch bodies piling up on screen. Don’t you need to write a story around this type of material?

One of the things I thought while watching this was that it was like watching a porno in the ‘70s. There’s bad acting and horrible music. The filmmaking is shoddy. A pretty woman walks over to the neighbors mansion to borrow milk, the pizza guy shows up – and everyone ends up getting it.

The only reason I’m giving this movie ½ a star is because the masks are scary, and Australian actress Sharni Vinson was good in it.

If you’re a fan of the genre of horror films you get today – you’ll love it.

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