Warm Bodies

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warm bodies

Whatever you do, stay away from the brown acid.

I don’t mind that the makers of Twilight turned vampires into metrosexuals that were appealing to the teen crowd. I just wish they would’ve made better films. Yet this premise of taking zombies and trying to make a love story out of it just doesn’t work. Full disclosure here – I could only last the first 35 minutes of this movie before I bailed. Once I saw zombie Nicholas Hoult eat the brain of Teresa Palmer’s boyfriend – I was wondering if Jonathan Levine’s brain was eaten while he scripted this (from the Issac Mario novel). I feared that watching this movie that had no laughs, would turn my brain into mush. And to think – Levine did such a great job with 50/50 a few years ago.

I’m not sure the Romeo & Juliet story with the undead was a great idea, but since it’s the same studio that did the Twilight movies, I’m sure this was green lit in the initial pitch.

In a post apocalyptic society, there’s a zombie epidemic. One zombie takes a liking to a human survivor. How could he resist? She’s the pretty Teresa Palmer (I Am Number Four), and he just ate her boyfriends brain. This gives him all his memories and he turns    more human, which helps in building this relationship.

The young cast is attractive enough. Dave Franco (yes, his brother) is good in the flashbacks. Nicholas Hoult (About a Boy, X-Men: First Class) has an easy job of…stumbling through his scenes as a zombie and providing a narration and observations that I didn’t think were all that funny.

Palmer is the love interest, and a guy I always find hilarious in movies (former Daily Show correspondent Rob Coddry), is wasted as a zombie that isn’t given much to do. His doppelganger John Malkovich has a few scenes and went through the motions to collect an easy paycheck.

I’m guessing zombie fans won’t like the unlikely premises that pop up, as it seems horror fanboy types get mad when you mess with their genres.

As I was walking out during a Guns N’ Roses ballad Patience, realizing I didn’t have enough patience for this garbage (why did the other critics laugh when they play The Baby’s Missing You?). I wondered if the movie would play a Zombies tune (Tell Her No, She’s Not There, Time of the Season). It wasn’t worth sticking around to find out, but I checked the soundtrack. They used two perfectly titled songs from Bruce Springsteen (Hungry Heart) and Jimmy Cliff (Sitting in Limbo). You got tunes from the talented Feist and Delta Spirit, and one of my favorite Bob Dylan tracks – Shelter From the Storm. If only the movie were as good as the soundtrack.

This gets 1 star out of 5.

 

 

 

 

4 comments

  • Kelly

    As a fellow movie reviewer, I have to say you can’t give a reliable review if you didn’t watch the whole film. Often movies that ate even considered average start out a bit slow, but can still pick up towards the middle. Im simply disappointed that you didn’t give it a real chance to write an accurate review.

  • joshboardfox5

    Kelly — that is a great point. And oddly enough, I was one of the critics that was against Roger Ebert when he wrote a review on a movie, that I believe he walked out of after 9 minutes (something absurd like that). But…in this review, I did the same thing Roger did. That is — I stated that in the review. This way, the person reading understands that I'm giving a review based on a very limited viewing. You are also correct that, some movies have started poorly and gotten better. That happens many times. The thing is — if I'm hating every second of what I've seen, I figure…life is too short. Why sit there for another hour and a half? I've seen thousands of movies, and I know myself and the movie, and whether or not I'm going to like it…after about 30 minutes.

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