Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part II

You aren’t staring at the director again, are you?

As a film critic, I really have to grade this movie on a curve. It’s not a good movie, but for tweens that are fans of this type of thing – I have to say it’s the best of the series. That’s like when I got a headache the other day and, as a person that suffers from migraines, I had to admit the headache that wasn’t a migraine was the best of the bunch.

I thought that Breaking Dawn, Part I was utterly ridiculous. The acting was bad, the dialogue atrocious. In this, it seems the acting has improved. Who would’ve thought that Kristen Stewart would act more alive when she was playing dead.

Director Bill Condon (Chicago, Kinsey, Dreamgirls, Gods and Monsters) has directed the last two movies, and they were filmed back-to-back. He went with bigger and bloodier – grabbing a PG-13 rating with lots of decapitations.

Here’s the story. Bella has given birth to Renesmee (don’t call her Nessie). Belle had to become a vampire so she wouldn’t die during childbirth. Renesmee can be dangerous as a vampire child. They never grow out of childhood and are out of control with their powers. Kind of like that kid in Twilight Zone that wished you into the cornfield if you didn’t give him a cookie.

This means that family to the Volturi, lead by Aro (Michael Sheen, in a fun, over-the-top performance), want the child killed; or at least some heads to roll.

Bella needs other vampire witnesses to vouch that Renesmee is really half-human. And as witnesses are gathered, we see they all have different powers. It reminded me of the children gathered for that last X-Men.

I’m still not sure I understand how the Tayler Lautner character has some how “imprinted” on the baby, but I just went with it. It’s created a bizarre love triangle for the last few movies.

Maybe I was swayed to give this a somewhat positive review because of the climactic battle sequence at the end. There’s some emotion shown, fun fight scenes, and a fun little plot twist.

I said on TV that the love scenes had goofy songs played underneath making me think of cheesy music videos from the 80s. Critic Leonard Maltin said it better: “…has the air of a 1980s shampoo commercial as the two newlyweds…make passionate love to a nonstop music track.”

There was some bad CGI at times, bad dialogue (although a step up from the previous films in the series), and if you’re over 30 – a few unintentional laughs. I do think this 5th episode was a fitting conclusion to the $2 billion money machine. It’s hard to believe the studios are letting it come to an end.

I met a couple at a party recently and the woman told me she’s having her teenagers watch movies from when we were teenagers in the ‘80s. She said “Their favorite has been Ferris Bueller.”

I thought about how the ‘70s and ‘80s had a good selection of films we can show our kids. I’m wondering if the teenagers now will play these DVDs to their kids when they’re teenagers, and what those kids will think about them. Perhaps they’ll still be moved by them. It seems each decade has their share of cheesy boy bands.

I’ll be anxiously waiting for a parody film to come out called Breaking Dawn II: The Honey Boo Boo Boogaloo.

This movie gets 2 1/2 stars out of 5.


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