Alex Cross

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It will make money, but I’m not sure why.

The best-selling novels by James Patterson are back on the big screen; and they got Tyler Perry to take off the wig.

It’s a buddy cop flick, with a serial killer that has more twitches than any killer you may have ever seen on screen. It probably had Heath Ledger twitching in his grave. Oh, and this killer went and made it personal! (I should so write movie posters).

Director Rob Cohen (The Fast and the Furious, XXX) brought his chaotic style, which will distract you once again. It’s one thing to have the annoying shaky-cam during the action segments, but why when people are talking? Did they not invest in a tripod, or did Cohen get as bored as we did by the formulaic dialogue.

I enjoyed the early scenes with Cross and his family (which includes mom Cicely Tyson, and the gorgeous Carmen Ejogo).

I didn’t care for Edward Burns as his partner. It seemed that many times in the movie they weren’t emoting proper emotions for what was being said.

The emotions were over the top from Matthew Fox (Lost). He’s the type of villain we love in a movie – one that we don’t want to cross paths with. After the first few scenes, it becomes predictable and — as his name Picasso indicates — he draws elaborate charcoal drawings (complete with clues, how convenient).

I wasn’t aware that the Alex Cross character had been played by Morgan Freeman in previous films (Kiss the Girls, Along Came a Spider). Perry – you are no Morgan Freeman. In fact, you’re no Matthew Perry.

French actor Jean Reno (The Professional) plays a billionaire that seems to be the next one on the killers hit list. He brings nothing to the party.

We find out that the killer is taking out all these rich folks, until he detours to taunt the cops on his trail. Those are scenes that can be guilty fun in movies, but they’re so poorly written here you just don’t care.

I’m not sure why he kills in the manner he does. For example, he pays $10,000 to enter an ultimate fight in Detroit. He beats the heavyweight champ, who outweighs him by 100 pounds. He then goes over and breaks his arm after the fight. All this to lure the hottest woman in the stands back to her place. No arrests made, witnesses, nothing.

The movie has about 25 different flaws in the logic, but hey – what do you expect from hack screenwriters that pump out this formulaic garbage?

John C. McGinley had the perfect facial expression in Office Space, but the crowd watching him here laughed whenever he appeared on screen. It makes sense. He was a police chief that looked like he smelled something bad the entire film. I’m guessing it’s the stench from the script. At least he never yelled out that cliché line of “I’ll have your badge!”

I don’t want to go through all the unrealistic things that happened in the movie, as they were non-stop. I do have to bring up one thing, since it happened about three different times in this. Each time it did, I wondered why they do these scenes in cop films.

It’s when the protagonist is chasing somebody that has just been shooting at the cops and everyone else. Yet when they go up onto the roof, you climb up the ladder after them. Wouldn’t it be easy enough for that person to just stand at the top and shoot you when your head popped up? Or do cops just chasing these people assuming they’re going to continue running away?

This is Lethal Weapon for a new generation, but without the well-written script that had; or the chemistry Danny Glover and Mel Gibson had, or the fun action scenes. Even Gary Busey made for a more realistic and scary villain. Of course, now with Busey and Gibson both being nuts…well no. I’m guessing that cast would still make a better film.

I’m too old for this s**t!

It gets 1 ½ stars out of 5.