It’s hard to just go with this premise.
It’s easier to buy Paul Giamatti getting women in Barney’s Version.
Why would all these gorgeous women sleep with Adam Sandler simply because he wears a wedding ring and they think he’s a married man with a sob story? I’m guessing the fact that he’s a rich plastic surgeon would’ve done the trick. The film wisely left out a scene the commercials show. That has Sandler telling one woman his wife is a hooker. No quicker way to get a woman into bed than to tell her you’re sleeping with a woman that’s a prostitute.
There are about 10 different reasons as to why the premise – that the woman (model Brooklyn Decker) Sandler falls for thinks he’s married because of the ring – didn’t need to meet the fake wife (played by Jennifer Aniston, who should at this point, fire the agent that sends her scripts). The second Decker sees the ring and freaks out, I immediately thought “Tell her you’re a plastic surgeon and tired of women coming on to you just to get a free boob job.”
What’s a shame is that there are a few really funny scenes in this. One has Sandler negotiating with the kids to get them to pretend to be his fake family (don’t ask how they got involved, it’s just as preposterous).
The two former Saturday Night Livers that show up – Kevin Nealon and Rachel Dratch – provide amusing moments with the botched stuff they’ve had done to their faces.
The cameo with Dave Matthews builds a lot like the Brett Favre one did in There’s Something About Mary. That movie and scene worked, and this one didn’t.
When we see Matthews on stage playing bass, I wondered why they didn’t use Sting. There were two of his songs in the movie, and about seven Police songs. I’m not sure why they felt the need to use so many tunes from one artist.
Nicole Kidman plays a woman who is the arch-enemy of Aniston, and she does a decent job with the character. It’s just a shame it wasn’t written better.
There was the usual trying on clothes montage scene, which filmmakers can never seem to make interesting or funny (even in Pretty Woman it was lame).
But what did you expect from director Dennis Dugan? He’s given us the following garbage: Big Daddy, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, You Don’t Mess With The Zohan, and last years Grown-Ups.
This movie is a loose remake of Cactus Flower. In my best “I knew Kennedy and you are no Kennedy” voice: I loved that cast, and you guys are no Walter Matthau, Ingrid Bergman and Goldie Hawn.
The cast also wastes comedian Nick Swardson, who’s a funny stand-up, and always hit it out of the park on Reno 911. He didn’t do a single funny thing in this movie.
And on the subject of TV shows, they lifted the scene from Seinfeld where Jason Alexander lies about being a marine biologist. When he’s walking on the beach with a woman, he has to try and save a whale (this movie uses a sheep, and a lie Swardson told about his job selling sheep online).
There’s a scene where Aniston lies to Kidman to impress her, since she couldn’t stand her in college. An episode of Taxi revolved around Marilu Henner running into an old cheerleader she hated. She lies and has Judd Hirsch pretend to be her husband (side note: what would impress women about Sandler or Hirsch being the guy they bring to dinner?).
Both episodes of the shows mentioned, including the Reno 911 episodes, are funnier than this entire film.
Oh, I almost forgot. Kidman lying and saying her husband invented the iPhone – that was done better in Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion (they claimed to have invented the Post-It Note).
The love interest, Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Brooklyn Decker, is nice to look at. Her character is also poorly written.
She walks into a room carrying Seventeen magazine, and various scenes talk about her love of ‘N Synch. Really? A band that hasn’t been around in 10 years is used and we’re supposed to buy that? It would’ve made more sense had she liked a contemporary pop band like Katy Perry or Lady Gaga.
Dan Patrick pops up in a fun cameo as the host of a hula contest. This after the cast takes a trip to Hawaii (geez…describing this movie is like describing a bad episode of The Brady Bunch). And what’s with Sandler filming so many movies in Hawaii?
Sandler and Aniston have nice chemistry, but one of the many problems is that Sandler doesn’t care about anybody but himself for a large portion of the movie. It was my same complaint about Jack Black in School of Rock.
Maybe because the Super Bowl is still fresh in my mind and I’m thinking of the stats from the big game, I’ll break this down into some stats.
-Brooklyn Decker is 24-years-old.
-Adam Sandler, her love interest, is 20 years older. He was born in Brooklyn, New York.
-Decker’s favorite singer is Dave Matthews. He plays a man Aniston goes on a date with.
-The original movie (Cactus Flower) came out in 1969. That’s the year Aniston was born.
-The movie is 116 minutes long. I laughed a combined total of 4 minutes. I smiled an additional 10 minutes.
-I wished it would end at about the 82 minute mark.
Prediction, not statistic: the movie will make well-over $100 million, no matter what the critics say about it. Sandler will continue to make over $25 million per film.
The movie gets a D.